"Did you ever think it'd end up like this? The way you used to shred all the time, the way we could chug down a 24-pack to ourselves before either passing out or throwing up, or even the way we could love our girlfriends, our families, and each other. Did you ever think it would end up like this, Brian? Did you ever? I'll be honest with you: I ( Read more... )

“I give up, Zack. I’m so disappointed in you.”
     Heartbreak isn’t supposed to feel this way, I thought. I was used to feeling exhilarated when I broke up with a girl. Usually, I’d have another on the side, so, of course, I’d never feel lonely. This time, though, was the exact opposite. The girl had dumped me, and this was a completely different ( Read more... )

     “I am the sincerest person in the band, I think.”
( It was honestly true (although it was most sincere)... )

“Honey, I’m home!” I walked into the house, searching for any sign of life when, suddenly, my daughter walked passed me with a Popsicle hanging out her mouth. “Gracelyn, sweetheart, what are you doing eating a Popsicle before dinner?” I scooped my five year old daughter in my arms and planted kisses on her sticky cheeks. “Never mind that, where’s ( Read more... )

Marilyn

“What’s going on! Brian!”
      “BRIAN!”
      “Call 911! NOW!”

( There was a loud thud as the gun fell to the pavement... )

March 15th, 2006
Wednesday
Seize

“You’ve got to be out of your fucking mind, Marilyn,” I had one hand on the bottom of the steering wheel as I turned to face Marilyn in the passenger side. “We are not going to see Jacoby in jail, okay? It’s stupid. It’s such a fucking stupid idea,” but I found myself driving to the prison, anyway. Jacoby was ( Read more... )

Brian
“I think someone’s at the door,” Michelle informed me, even though I was sitting right across from the door and heard the doorbell.
Getting up and opening the door, I gave an annoyed eye roll. “Yeah, I think you’re - Matt, John, what the fuck happened to you?” I moved out of the way as Matt roughly pushed him in.
“I don’t know. He won’t go to ( Read more... )

Matt
     Rapidly pounding on the door, I was flustered, red-in-the-face, and I couldn’t calm myself down at all. I sped all the way over to John’s house in Costa Mesa as quickly as I could.
“Hey,” I bellowed out at him through the door, hoping someone would just answer the fucking door. “Come on, Johnny, open up, man. You called me, remember?” and ( Read more... )

Marilyn
March 15th, 2006

Almost a month had passed since my sister’s funeral. My mother had gone to Georgia after she had sold my sister’s house, my father walked back to his home in Newport Beach, and my brother was more protective than ever. It was awkward without having her to call. I almost called her phone the other day, thinking she’d pick ( Read more... )

February 24th, 2006
11:00 am

Her mother had flown in from Savannah, Georgia, her father had walked from Newport Beach, and her brother was even let out on parole for her funeral. Even though Ven’s whole family knew me as the other guy in her relationship, her mother always considered me a son-in-law. It was a warm feeling to be known as that, ( Read more... )